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profile You can say whatever you want to say but type more than you could ever type because the more you type the nicer it'll look so just go on and on and on and on on typing this chunk like hi i am a girl who likes shiny things like diamonds and glitter i like nice boys and actually i am a witch in disguise this skin is inspired from mintyapple which is a community for skins. archives August 2004 January 2005 October 2005 November 2005 December 2005 January 2006 February 2006 March 2006 April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 November 2006 December 2006 January 2007 February 2007 March 2007 April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 September 2008 November 2008 January 2009 September 2009 affiliates affiliate affiliate affiliate affiliate affiliate tagboard credits you can remove this if you don't have a conscience. i assure you i will not hunt you down. skin by: Jane |
Friday, September 15, 2006 @ 7:26 PM
worn out. tired do u still remember that we actually were suppose to meet up some time, somehow? i wonder whether it was an empty promise u made to me to make me feel good then and there. but still.. i had high hopes then. but now? i don't dare to imagine what the consequences will be like. its scary when u tell yourself u know someone. but yet at times u feel so stranger when u see the person. has this feeling ever occured in your life? i know i had this feeling sometime back. it was scary. i felt so alien. or was it because of things that happened around me that made me feel like an alien? i hope to show care and concern as a friend. but yet im afraid of what the reaction might be like. has time made our friendship much weaker? or have you forgotten that u have a friend maybe by the name dAv in your memory lane. have u left him somewhere and u just refuse to pick him up again? its really beyond what words can say to describe the day i saw you, talk to you and had fun with you. i guess it'll be a scary moment. cos maybe i just can't understand the you at this present moment. or have i changed so much that you don't know who and how dAv is like now? is this a question to you OR am i asking myself these questions? i'm confused. i can't forget the days we had together. the fun we had. yet i cant exactly remember when was the last time we had such fun? was it sometime after i came back? how much time did we spend together? its not the quantity but quality. but did we really had quality time together? i can't recall what has happened. would u bother to ask me out someday? would u even know my existence by then? would u remember the times we had? the silly things we done together? did u know that i was upset? did u know i was the one who usually gives in cos i dun wish to have people around me to be unhappy? did u know that eventually i was the supportive one? did u remember the words that i have told you? did u realise that i felt very awkward that day cos i didnt know the other friends of yours but i still stayed on? did u know i felt lonely that day cos no one was talking to me except u? did u realise i somehow looked weird in that photo we took that day? did u know i left early but i had no one to meet? did you know that im worried that u will be hurt some day and u dun have anyone to count on den? DO u know that i am confused why am i asking these questions now when i know u might not even bother? DO you know that im feeling upset as i'm typing this entry but still i'm continuing? i dun even know if you will be seeing this post, if u did, will u know who am i refering to. do you? i shouldn't think. she said u changed. u looked and felt different from the past. she didn't see you for mayb a longer time. but we treated you as besties. or mayb not? at least i know i treated you like one. but i need people to reciprocate. it can't be a one sided thing. i told a friend of mine that i guess i have been in the best form i could for a very long time and im very tired already. she said i should not be upset and said that i have definitely done my part as a friend. bt how can i not be bothered? im telling myself that maybe its temporary. so temporary might mean months? or would it actually be an infinite date that we have already forgotten each other's presence. and then one day when you flip through your albums you will say something like "hey, this guy looks famliliar, i tink its dav, i wonder how he is now?" wouldn't it be too late den? dun say sorry when u think you might not be in the wrong, say it only when u tink you're really in the wrong. a sorry is worthless when u dun mean it. call me a friend, a bestie only when u tink i am one now in the present. and not think about the past and say something like "hey, i tink you are my best friend cos u did this and this in the past" i dun tink i deserve it now cos u said its in the past. maybe i haven't done anything that allowed u to remember its and effort of dav that tried to make your life better. sometimes i think you are happier with other people right now. sometimes i forget how your smile look like. if you are happier with others i'll let go all my worries. i'll wish you with all the happiness you can find and not bother you anymore. cos i know i've gt to release u, let you move on to the road called happiness. and goodbye will never be said, cos a goodbye might hurt even more. i'm not in love with you. cos i cant. i somehow seem to know you too well. and things will never happen cos i nv loved u as a girlfriend. bt loved u as a friend only. till the day i find the ans to tell myself that i know i shan't be bothered with such stuff. i know that i can somehow remember of some stuff that will upset me somehow. "friends are an important part in life" "only true friends will stay by your side when u need them" i dun wish to rant more. cos it ain't a happy entry. |