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profile You can say whatever you want to say but type more than you could ever type because the more you type the nicer it'll look so just go on and on and on and on on typing this chunk like hi i am a girl who likes shiny things like diamonds and glitter i like nice boys and actually i am a witch in disguise this skin is inspired from mintyapple which is a community for skins. archives August 2004 January 2005 October 2005 November 2005 December 2005 January 2006 February 2006 March 2006 April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 November 2006 December 2006 January 2007 February 2007 March 2007 April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 September 2008 November 2008 January 2009 September 2009 affiliates affiliate affiliate affiliate affiliate affiliate tagboard credits you can remove this if you don't have a conscience. i assure you i will not hunt you down. skin by: Jane |
Sunday, December 04, 2005 @ 12:35 AM
backie back its been like 2 weeks since i last had a blog entry.. not that i dowan to blog.. bt time just seems to run too fast and i have too many things to do. anyway past 2 weeks seems to be a very happening week. or should i say all my important events were held den. so it was an emotional ride up and down.. wrote things inside my diary too.. shall be revealed shortly.. before i start all my whiny stuff, the major events i've been thru these 2 weeks - SOC, IPPT, 16km route march, 24kmn route march, drill com. that's all sounds lil but lots of memories indeed for me.. some diary entries i've made during the course of 2 weeks.in fact only 2 la.. 23/11/05 yet another tiring day. this time round i have to admit that i have totally lost my motivation and zest. even determinationlevel has gone dam low. jer once said that i take things too seriously. bt is there a choice not to? i really dun wish to waste my 2 years as a man. i hope i can succeed in at least being s spec since OCS is just too far away for my physical capabilities. but what about the low wall? low rope? parrallel bar and not forgetting my IPPT SBJ and chin ups? if i fuck these 2 stations and SOC how to go spec? even have to go back during hols to retake these how to plan my holidays? Eric was there encouraging and motivating me, but my heart is lost and i need it back badly. it's like "the process that metters" bt for me i sometimes think "it's the journey that matters" thks bro for being there. spending ur slping time talking to me =) 24/11/05 completed @ 2320 beginning of the day was fine until SOC started. as much as i know that i will be disappointed with myself, i tried to cheer myself up. yeap, proved that it wasn't useful. fely shag after the half run up of 350m. though mr lee was still there encouraging me said things to motivate me, i tried to motivate myself once again, i somehow failed when i saw the low wall. the wall released all my fears and i just paused there refusing to cross it. i hated that kind of feeling bt i ended up facing it and still failed. i can't push neither can i pull. so what am i useful for? when i have to motivation to push myself, how can i motivate others?. i teared and i smiled, inside my heart it ain't laughing at all. if it happend to laugh, i guess it'll be laughing at my physical capabilities "haha, dav's weak" problems rose. man lost?? people got scolded then they are happy. confinement is a punishment and its what everyone deserves they just refuse to do as instructed so i simply feel that its a sooner or later matter just that it happened late at the point of time when everyone is in POP mood. everyone is unhappy so moodless me at that point even fucked my own sections mates when they were throwing their temper. it wasn't an intended thing to do so i felt bad as well.. i myself ws disappointed and i believe some of my buddies are disappointed in me as well. Drill com is def fun bt tiring. drilled close to 3hrs today! anyway think that confinement is set at 1730 a late book out for us again. till now it dosen have any impact on me cos i dun have any programmes. night time was just a talk cock session between ben, eric and me. somehow SOC topic came up again and i said some things i shuldn't have said Eric was disappointed again by the way im handlling things. 16km route march is tmr whine more later!! break time! |